Russ's Corner

I regularly use quotes from famous and/or successful people while I'm teaching, training, presenting, and/or mentoring. Very often these quotes lead to more questions. As a student of personality profiles and the different dispositions of those that hear these pearls of knowledge, I have decided to provide an avenue for discovery here on the website. I welcome all comments and further questions. You can email me directly at RussGray@yongtkdcenters.com.

"Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal." - Earl Nightingale

I've pieced together a longer more in-depth description of this quote from the definitions of the terms from www.dictionary.com.

“The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted” is “the result of” “continuing steadily by increments” “to bring into reality” “an objective”, “opinion, conviction, or principle” “having worth, merit, or value."

"There are no secrets to success: Don't waste time looking for them. Success is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for who you work, and persistence." - Collin Powell, US General, Secretary of State

You will only be able to maintain the level of success that is proportionate to the level you have grown to become. I have been told by students that the people that won the lottery are immediately successful. However, the general public seems astounded at the high number of them that are bankrupt just a few years later. If these people were in a position to be able to manage their affairs as efficiently as required, they wouldn't have needed the money in first place. They would have already obtained it, and their winnings would have been a bonus instead of a windfall. If you want to be a millionaire, build a million dollar person first. If you want to be a black belt, build a black belt person first.

Unsuccessful people have big problems. Successful people are bigger than their problems. They failed more than the others and just got up one more time. Thomas Edison said that he succeeded in finding 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb before he found one that worked. How many of you would have quit and stayed in the dark?

What is your definition of success? Figure out what you want first. Define your goal or idea. I have mentored people that told me that their goal was to make a lot of money. How much? For what? By when? None of them had these answers. This is not a goal. Money is a tool that allows you to have options. What money will do for you is a goal. If you want to sponsor a race team, you need money. If your goal is to be a nun then money is of no use. You need to figure out where you are going.

Success is a journey. In every journey, you need a destination. I tell people that you need to decide where you want to go before we can decide on the vehicle to get you there. If you want to get from Los Angeles to New York, you can use a Ferrari. However, if your goal is Hawaii, you need a boat or an airplane.

If you take martial arts to learn to fight, fine. If you take it to get into shape, learn self defense or just need a social club, fine. If you truly want to learn the beauty of martial arts and dedicate your life to that pursuit, fabulous. The point is that each of these reasons require a similar vehicle. Whether you need a Ferrari, Cadillac, Hummer, Escort or Pinto is predicated upon your goal.

"People with goals succeed because they know where they are going. It's as simple as that." - Earl Nightingale

Once you have the destination then start the journey, the "progressive journey". Find someone that is where you want to be and get as close to them as possible. Learn what they know. Do what they do. If you want to be a plumber, find a plumber. If you want to be a dentist, find a dentist. A plumber can't teach you how to be a dentist. If you want to fail, listen to those that have never achieved anything worthwhile. Find a mentor that is successful in the area you want to excel in. When they say jump, don't ask,"How high?" Look for a soft place to land.

Nothing worth having is without cost and effort. More often than not, you must give up what you want for a season to obtain what you desire. If you desire fame, you must learn humility. If you want time, you will have to sacrifice it to get it in the future. If you want to teach, you must learn to be a student. If you want to be a leader, you must learn to follow. If you want to be a great person, surround yourself with those greater than you. You don't have to tell others you are great. If you are great, others will already know and tell everyone else for you. Become a great person and let the world do the rest.

There are no shortcuts to success. You cannot bargain or compromise with it. If you want to be successful, do what failures won't.

"Stress, in my opinion, is a self-imposed condition brought about by fear and the inability to prioritize effectively or affect changes that are out of our control." -- R.D.Gray

That being said, it would appear that stress is a decision. I choose not to be stressed.

"Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit." -- Napoleon Hill

Learn from the trial and move on. Don't worry about whatever situation you are going through. The only way a problem has devastating power is if you choose not to acknowledge the "seed" that carries the unrealized benefit. With each new spring you are a different person. Hopefully you are a greater person, a better person. You quietly and unconsciously filed away the "seeds" of the winter. You cultivated some of them and you put others in a box and carried them around with you. These became a benefit or a burden. You are not the same person that you were yesterday and change is a journey that you must seek out, not fear. You can only make the same mistakes if you choose to.

Fear is a powerful motivator as well as a great excuse not to succeed. You choose your own path.

"Fears can be our guide if we begin to understand them. More directly than our dreams, fears point us to parts of our self that are locked awaiting a key. If we understand our fears, they are prone to evaporate into thin air, revealing rooms unlocked and laden with riches for the taking." -- Albert Emerson Unaterra (1952-2002), American writer

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." ~Ambrose Redmoon

I like to say it a little differently. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the determination to go forward in spite of fear.

If you are a runner, you know what it means to persevere. When you started, it was slow and agonizing. Short runs became longer. You cramped up and couldn't run for a time. You injured yourself and had to heal. You ran when people didn't understand it and criticized or made fun of you. Yet you ran. You ran knowing that you might trip and fall. You ran knowing that your muscles would ache later. You ran knowing that your lungs would burn and that you would be fatigued. You ran knowing that someone in a moment of inattention could end your ability to run forever. Yet you ran because of the "benefit".

Adversity and fear are constant. You must deal with them in order to move on. Why look for a happy medium? Take the chance, and jump right in. If you fall, get up. If it hurts, heal. If the committee of "they" don't understand, ignore them.

Life is simple, we allow ourselves to constantly complicate it. Live your best life now, while you have it. If you wait to live until everything is perfect, you never will. You miss 100% of the shots that you don't take.

Water the "seeds" and see what grows. If you don't like it, weed it out. Just "run" and see what the "seeds" become.

1-29-07 I have been through a lot since I wrote this and have received many comments about this section on Adversity and Fear. People have been skeptical and have argued this point.

I lost my father, who was my best friend, a year and a half ago. I have also had issues that came up in my personal life that appeared to be devastating. Each time the world "hit" me I held tight to two beliefs to guide me through. I trust that God will not allow me to face more than I can handle (I wish he didn't have so much faith in me sometimes), and every adversity carries with it the seed of an equivalent benefit. These things were not apparent at first but as time has passed since the loss of my father I am starting to see the "fruit" of those "seeds". The full "harvest" may not be for many years. The key thing that almost everyone has been able to do is keep a positive mental attitude about the possibility of the power in the lesson learned. Loss is never easy.

Love those that are close to you and don't wait. Do not wait until is too late to do what you need to do. I have no regrets. I am one of the lucky one's.

Bill worked in a factory on a production line, he was a big, awkward, homely guy. He dressed oddly with ill-fitting clothes. There were several fellow workers who thought it smart to make fun of him.

One day one fellow worker noticed a small tear in his shirt and gave it a small rip. Another worker in the factory added his bit, and before long there was quite a ribbon of cloth dangling. Bill went on about his work and as he passed too near a moving belt the shirt strip was sucked into the machinery. In a split second the sleeve and Bill was in trouble. Alarms were sounded, switches pulled, and trouble was avoided.

In my younger days I worked in a small factory. That's when I first met Mike. He was big and witty, was always making jokes, and playing little pranks. Mike was a leader. Then there was Peter who was a follower. He always went along with Mike. And then there was a man named Murray. He was a little older than the rest of us - quiet, harmless, apart. He always ate his lunch by himself.

He wore the same patched trousers for three years straight. He never entered into the games we played at noon, wrestling, horseshoes and such. He appeared to be indifferent, always sitting quietly alone under a tree instead. Murray was a natural target for practical jokes.

He might find a live frog in his lunch box, or a dead spider in his hat. But he always took it in good humor. Then one autumn, when things were quiet in the factory, Mike took off a few days to go hunting. Peter went along, of course. And they promised all of us that if they got anything they'd bring us each a piece.

So we were all quite excited when we heard that they'd returned and that Mike had got a really big buck. We heard more than that. Peter could never keep anything to himself, and it leaked out that they had real whopper to play on Murray. Mike had cut up the buck and had made a nice package for each of us. And, for the laugh, for the joke of it, he had saved the ears, the tail, the hoofs - it would be so funny when Murray unwrapped them.

Mike distributed his packages during the lunch break. We each got a nice piece, opened it, and thanked him. The biggest package of all he saved until last. It was for Murray. Peter was all but bursting; and Mike looked very smug. Like always, Murray sat by himself; he was on the far side of the big table. Mike pushed the package over to where he could reach it; and we all sat and waited.

Murray was never one to say much. You might never know that he was around for all the talking he did. In three years he'd never said more than hundred words. So we were all quite astounded with what happened next. He took the package firmly in his grip and rose slowly to his feet. He smiled broadly at Mike - and it was then we noticed that his eyes were glistening. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down for a moment and then he got control of himself.

'I knew you wouldn't forget me,' he said gratefully, 'I knew you'd come through! You're big and you're playful, but I knew all along that you had a good heart.'

He swallowed again, and then took in the rest of us. 'I know I haven't seemed too chummy with you men; but I never meant to be rude. You see, I've got nine kids at home - and a wife that's been an invalid - bedridden now for four years. She ain't ever going to get any better. And sometimes when she's real bad off, I have to sit up all night to take care of her. And most of my wages have had to go for doctors and medicine.

The kids do all they can to help out, but at times it's been hard to keep food in their mouths. Maybe you think it's funny that I go off by myself to eat my lunch. Well, I guess I've been a little ashamed, because I don't always have anything between my sandwich. Or like today - maybe there's only a raw turnip in my lunch box. But I want you to know that this meat really means a lot to me. Maybe more than to anybody here because tonight my kids' ... as he wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand ... 'tonight my kids will have a really good meal.'

He tugged at the string. We'd been watching Murray so intently we hadn't paid much notice to Mike and Peter. But we all noticed them now, because they both tried to grab the package. But they were too late. Murray had broken the wrapper and was already surveying his present. He examined each hoof, each ear, and then he held up the tail. It wiggled limply. It should have been so funny, but nobody laughed - nobody at all.

But the hardest part was when Murray looked up and said 'Thank you' while trying to smile. Silently one by one each man moved forward carrying his package and quietly placed it in front of Murray for they had suddenly realized how little their own gift had really meant to them, until now.

This was where the foreman left the story and the men. He didn't need to say any more; but it was gratifying to notice that as each man ate his lunch that day, they shared part with Bill and one fellow even took off his shirt and gave it to him."

I received this in an email from an organization that I belong to. This is a story that may not actually be true. However, this does make a great point. You don't know what you don't know. Therefore, what gives you the right to judge others without their consent? Take the time to lift someone up. Pass on a word of encouragement with a smile. Go out of your way to help someone that you might not think needs or deserves it. It might just make the difference.

I took 5 seconds to say "good morning" and ask how a colleague was doing this morning with a smile. That colleague came back later and thanked me. She told me that she was having a rough morning and that my pleasant smile and concern helped to pick her up this morning. It didn't cost me anything. It didn't take any time, but to her it was just enough to help her get through her morning and decide to have a great day. Try it and see what happens. Set the standard. Be the example. Show the world who you want to be and an amazing thing will happen. One day when you least expect it, you will be that person.

They will know us because we reach out to help others. One hand reaching down to pull up another hand reaching up without conditions or strings.

A coach loves their members enough to be honest and real with them even if isn't popular.

A coach must be the champion for those that don't have the strength to do it alone.

A coach must lead from the front, doing in order to be the example and set the standard.

A coach must be wise enough to know that he can learn from everyone that crosses his path, no matter who they are.

Most importantly, A coach has more faith in people than they have in themselves.

There are times in everyone’s life when a revelation or point of wisdom impresses itself upon our soul. These are a few of my thoughts on life in general. I hope you enjoy.

Ø When you wake up in the morning, there are a number of events that shape your day. Some like to believe that they are in complete control of those events. Expect the unexpected.

Ø Life is a gift. Sometimes it is not what you wanted and you wish you could return it, but it is the thought that counts. Life is what you make it.

Ø Failure builds understanding. Hardship builds patience. Trials build character. When things are at their worst, rejoice for the potential.

Ø You can learn something from anyone. Never let that person pass your way without allowing them to teach you what it is. Remember to thank them.

Ø It is really easy to place blame on everyone else for your problems. Life is not fair, and nobody said it would be easy. You are right where the decisions that you have made put you. Your life is your choice…no one else’s.

Ø What may seem to be the correct answer today may complicate things in the future. History teaches us to learn from others. God allows us to grow old to help future generations. Teach.

Ø Those that need the most help will very seldom ever ask for it. When they do, listen.

Ø I believe that true love is forever. You can never loose that, no matter how hard you try.

Ø Happiness is not a complicated state of being. It is just being what one wants.

Ø The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence; however, you know where all the ruts and holes are on this side. Look real hard before you leap, appearances can be deceiving.

Ø When you constantly run as hard as you can, it is hard to enjoy what life has to offer.

Ø You are not entitled to anything in this world. If you want it, work for it. No one owes you anything.

Ø Moments that touch your soul should be cherished and sought after. If you haven’t experienced them, you haven't lived.

Ø Calluses are a natural defense to an adverse condition. Everyone wears the scars of the past. Some are deeper than others, but everyone carries them.

Ø There is always someone that cares. You may not know that person, but they are there.

Ø A child looks at the world with wonder and amazement. They ask why does this… and what causes that? Many have forgotten what it is like to wonder why the sky is blue or the grass green. The simple things are the most wonderful. God gave them to us. Enjoy them.

Ø Everyone is entitled to their opinion. You don’t have to agree with it. That is what makes you different from them. Learn from them. People are interesting beings. Don’t let your opinion alienate you.

Ø No matter how hard we try, most of us end up being our parents. The choice is yours.

Ø In the quiet times of the night you are faced with yourself. You may run for a while, but eventually you will catch up. Do you like what you see? Your life is a choice you made. Only you can take the credit and/or the blame.

Ø Responsibility is something everyone has. Some more than others. How you deal with it defines your character.

Ø You know who you are. You may fool everyone else, but you cannot lie to yourself. More importantly, you shouldn’t have to.

Ø Most people are unwilling to hear the truth if it exposes their weaknesses. They would rather keep their illusions.

Ø Indecision solidifies into Doubt. Doubt and Indecision become Fear. Fear is the result of the action and the thought.

Ø If your principles and morals get called on the carpet because of money, you have set yourself up for the devil to beat you.

Ø If someone else can make you angry about their belief, then you are insecure about what you believe.

Ø If you are "hungry" you will reach down deep to pull out the "stuff" you need to "grow".

Ø If it makes you mad and you don't want to hear it, these are the things you need to fix.

Ø When people lift you up and put you on a pedestal, don't get so self important that you forget to be embarrassed.

Ø It is not technique. It is what is in your head and your heart that makes the difference.

Ø Learn to laugh at yourself so when the world does it, it doesn't matter to you.

Ø Teach by example. You can instruct better with your life that you can with your lips.

Ø If you are given the permission to judge someone, keep this in mind: Don't judge them on things that they absolutely cannot do. Judge them on how well they do those things that they can.

Ø Instruction is not enough. You must inspire, motivate and care. Never forget the wonder that you experienced as the student. Your job is to instill that in the next generation.

"Take a deep breath, count to ten, and tackle each task one step at a time."

- Linda Shalaway

"Life is a mixture of successes and failures. May you be encouraged by your successes and strengthened by your failures. As long as you never lose faith in God, you will be victorious over any situation you face."

- Peace Pilgrim

"When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter."

"What we ponder and what we think about sets the course of our life. Any day we wish; we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish, we can start a new activity. Any day we wish, we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year."

"We can also do nothing. We can pretend rather than perform. And if the idea of having to change ourselves makes us uncomfortable, we can remain as we are. We can choose rest over labor, entertainment over education, delusion over truth, and doubt over confidence. The choices are ours to make. But while we curse the effect, we continue to nourish the cause. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, 'The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.' We created our circumstances by our past choices. We have both the ability and the responsibility to make better choices beginning today."

"When a person finds themselves predisposed to complaining about how little they are regarded by others, let them reflect how little they have contributed to the happiness of others."

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is a daring adventure or nothing at all."

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And, the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."

"I've never met a person, I don't care what his condition, in whom I could not see possibilities. I don't care how much a man may consider himself a failure. I believe in him, for he can change the thing that is wrong in his life any time he is ready and prepared to do it. Whenever he develops the desire he can take away from his life the thing that is defeating it. The capacity for reformation and change lies within."

"Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown."

"Opportunities? They are all around us ... There is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to discover it."

"The starting point of all achievement is desire. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat."

"Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success. Great living starts with a picture, held in your imagination, of what you would like to do or be."

"It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong."

"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."

"I'm a great believer in luck and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it."

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

"Holding anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

"Anger is a continual buildup of little embers of frustration, hurt and fear."

"The real person you are is revealed in the moments when you're certain no other person is watching. When no one is watching, you are driven by what you expect of yourself."

"Please understand my friend, that where you find yourself tomorrow is a function of the positive decisions and actions you take today."

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

"You can be as you choose to be. It's an act of discipline sometimes, but it can be done."

"People are looking for someone to help them get what they want. Are you a resource or are you selling something?"

"The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you."

"Fear is an insidious virus. Given a breeding place in our minds, it will permeate the whole body and eat away our spirit and block the forward path of our endeavors."

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."